Say Something
by ElleMarie291
Summary: Inspired by the song 'Say Something' by Great Big World. This is a Dramione fic, set in a last year of Hogwarts after the war. Essentially it is just an attempt of me living out my Dramione dreams. Posting as I write, any and all review are appreciated.
1. I Know Nothing At All

**Chapter One – I Know Nothing At All.**

 ** _Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._**

 ** _Headmistress: Minerva McGonagall._**

 _Dear Miss Granger,_

 _We write to invite you to return to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to attend a supplementary term of education. This extension course is offered to all seventh years of 1998 and upon completion will result in the student receiving their equivilant N.E.W.T level qualifications. Be advised that completing this additional time with Hogwarts is not compulsory and not participating will not influence your life and career opportunities outside of the school._

 _Please find enclosed a list of all necessary book and equipment._

 _Term begins 1 September. We await your owl by no later then 31 July._

 _Yours Sincerely,_

 ** _Filius Flitwick._**

 ** _Deputy Headmaster._**

 ** _SsSsSsSsSs_**

Hermione folded the parchment, slipping it back inside the envelope and tucking it inside her book bag. Leaning her head back onto the seats and turning her attention to the passing countryside out of the window, she allowed the trains gentle to and fro rock to relax her. She had been the one to point it out, on more then one occasion but it hit her again, in an unapologetic wave that pick you up and throws you underneath, tumbling you within it's currant, everything had changed once again. When she received the invitation to return to Hogwarts she was filled with so many emotions. She recalled her excitement and sense of relief that finally things were returning to normal, better then normal because this time it really could be just about learning and experiencing Hogwarts as she always wanted. A year of becoming exasperated as Harry and Ron left their assignments to the last minute and pretending that she had enough back bone to leave them to work it out without her help. A year of watching Ron try terribly to hide his bliss at beating Harry in wizards chess and quietly reading a book in front of the fire as their arguments over quidditch became nothing more then a background drone. She had taken her letter and grabbed a cardigan before flooing over to Grimmauld Place, where Ron had been staying with Harry since the end of the war. Hermione was fairly certain that despite Ron's assurances that he was staying there so Harry wasn't alone post war he was also enjoying the space of not being cramped in the burrow, competing for attention and time and space. She was also under the impression that Ron was avoiding spending too much time at the burrow because despite everyone's gallant attempts to move on, Fred's passing was still very vividly felt within the family home. She recalled her anticipation when she burst through the fire place in the old Black family home that now belonged to Harry. The house had been through some major renovations since the end of the war. Harry had thrown himself into the project, determined to make the house a home as opposed to the dark den it had been. It was no longer a hideout for fugitives, or a secret meeting place for the order and it reflected it's new 'in the open' status with open windows and drapes and a light colour palate.

"Ron, Harry!" Hermione called to them as she stepped over the threshold in a hurry. She heard heavy footsteps running towards her and not a second later her friends tumbled over each other to greet her.

"Mione!", Ron called out " What is wrong?" She lifted the envelope to their faces and smiled brilliantly.

"We're going back to Hogwarts." She said breathlessly.

 ** _SsSsSsSsSs_**

The sky had begun to darken as Hermione had stared through the window, lost in her own memories. The changing sky drawing her back into reality, she stood up and retrieved her trunk from the shelves above, rummaging through until she found what she was looking for. She pulled the night black robes from her trunk and looked at them, not making a move to actually wear them. They were the same old Robes she had worn over her last six years at Hogwarts, a simple black design with full length sleeves. The one difference however was the emblem emblazed across the left chest. Instead of the Gryffindor lion being pressed close to her heart these robes had simply the Hogwarts crest. When she had entered Madam Malkin's and the seamstress had handed her these robes Hermione was quick to rectify the perceived mistake.

"Oh no I require Gryffindor sets." She explained.

"You said you were back for the supplement eighth year didn't you love?" Hermione nodded. "Yes well headmistress McGonagall has explained that these will be the specific robes for that class dear." Madam Malkin explained with a friendly smile.

"Have you an idea of why that is?" Hermione asked.

"I'm sure I don't love, but I'm sure you will find out."

Hermione shook her head from the memory and with a slight raise of her eyebrows at the offending garment she dressed herself.

 ** _SsSsSsSsSs_**

The sky outside had entirely darkened and as they rounded the last corner the twinkling lights of Howarts came into view. Hermione felt the slight shudder as the trains breaks were put to use and they slowed their way into the station. She took a deep breath and stood up, ready to return to the castle that had been her second home for all these years. She opened the sliding door to the compartment that she had hidden away in all trip and looked into the train's hallway that was suddenly alive with sound and movement. Clusters of robe covered teenagers crowded into the space. Hermione turned glancing into her empty compartment and irrationally considering the possibility of just tucking her way back inside, shutting the door and returning back to London. Shaking her head at her foolish thought she stepped out into the corridor making her way towards the exit. Keeping her head down low and avoiding contact with anyone she was suddenly stopped as her body crashed into something hard. She tripped over her own feet on the impact and found herself tangled on the floor, her robes twisted among another. She unraveled herself from the stranger's robes, struggling to her feet and brushing off her robes, before finally looking into a pair of steel grey eyes she least expecting. She braced herself, tensed and waiting for the arrogant affront she was surely about to receive. She was surprised not to end up back on the floor for the shock was so great when he tore his eyes from hers to stare at the ground and muttered a quick "sorry" before retreating back towards the opposite exit to their original direction. Hermione was stunned and felt rooted to the spot, she had ran directly into Draco Malfoy and he hadn't tore her down with his usual vicious insults. It wasn't until she realized the hall had grown very quiet before she was pulled back into reality.

 ** _SsSsSsSsSs_**

Hermione stepped out onto the platform and was greeted with a familiar and welcome sound. "Firs' years this way, firs' years follow me." She wandered over to where Hagrid was towering over the swarming children. She looked up into his warm dark eyes, crinkling with his trademark smile that was almost hidden by the bush of hair that covered his face. Hermione smiled up at the half giant she called friend.

"Ello Hermione." Hagrid said as she came to stand before him.

"Hi Hagrid. How are you?" She asked him.

"Oh not bad, jus' tryin' to round up these little ones." He replied a wink.

"Well I'm not so little anymore but I sure feel like I could use an escort up to the castle. Feels like my first time again in so many way." She said, somewhat sadly.

"Aye, a lot has changed", Hagrid agreed, giving her a sad smile " But we will be alrigh', I know it." He assured her.

"I'm sure you're right", Hermione said, though not entirely agreeing "Well I'll let you get the new first years across the lake, bye Hagrid." She said before turning back and beginning the walk to the carriages. She felt her breath hitch in her throat when she approached the previously horseless carriage she was greeted with waiting thestrals. She approached the skeletal looking horses carefully and stopped a couple of feet away from their head. "Aye, a lot has changed" she muttered under her breath, emulating Hagrid's words from earlier. She looked up at the other waiting carriages and felt her heart beat rapidly and ache as she seen just how many of the other students were acknowledging, pointing at and even patting the morbid creatures. All of a sudden a wave of nausea hit as the realities of the war over took her senses. These were creatures that should not be visible to children and when they were, sad as that idea was it should be to illness of an elderly grandparent, the type of death while sad it was also expected and a relief of the person having moved on after a life well lived. The idea that these students who were currently interacting with the macabre animal had the ability because they were privy to moments of wizard kinds worst was heartbreaking. They were the survivors and witnesses of death and destruction. Many of them had lost friends, mentors and family during the war and this loss had lead to the addition of these beasts. The trade just wasn't worth it Hermione thought to herself. She turned away from the beasts and made her way to the carriage door, pulling herself inside to the private haven, hidden away from prying and sad eyes. She fell into the seat, exhaling loudly, before looking up and coming face to face for the second time that night with a pair of steely grey eyes. She felt herself blush immediately and was certain she could see a tinge rise in his cheeks.

"I thought this carriage was empty, there was no one else around it." She explained, a little annoyed that she felt she owed him an explanation at all. He nodded once before looking down at his hands that rested on his knees. "I didn't expect any of the Slytherin eighth years to return honestly, especially you." She continued talking, despite willing her self to stop. He lifted his eyes and a single eyebrow, giving him the most 'malfoyesque' look she had seen since before the war.

"Well," He began to say, his voice low and gravely, far from the conceited drawl she remembered, "Wonders will never cease, something Hermione Granger doesn't know. I'm sure that's a first. I'm the only Slytherin returning. Although it's not like I had anything to stay for." He finished his words quickly. She felt as though the wind had been knocked from her. He hadn't said it with condescension that she anticipated but with a subtle sadness that overwhelmed her. She shook her head, trying to clear away the thoughts that were quickly accumulating after his small confession before quietly releasing her own admission.

"I know nothing at all."

 ** _SsSsSsSsSs_**

 **Author Note:**

 **So just a little tale I was inspired to write by Great Big World's song 'Say Something.' I hope you like it. I am posting as I write so any and all reviews are absolutely welcome, cherished and appreciated. Thanks everyone.**

 **D xxx**


	2. 2 I'm Giving Up On You

**Chapter Two: I'm Giving Up On You.**

The ride to the castle was a silent one, awkwardly so. Hermione allowed herself to become lost in her thoughts, many of which revolved around the platinum blonde sitting across from her. Where were the other Slytherin's and why weren't they returning. Did he see or talk to any of them? Surely the little snake prince wouldn't return to Hogwarts without the entire slithering army. Not that she could understand his return anyway. He had always acted as though he was well above the school so why would he want to return? Hermione snuck a quick glance at the boy sitting across from her. He wasn't such a boy anymore. He had a healthier look about him having filled in the weight he had so drastically lost during their sixth year and height of the war. His skin was still incredibly pale but had lost the waxy quality he had sported the last time she had seen him. His hair had grown longer and was combed back but not drowned in product as was the way during their younger years. His eyes, heated silver in color, were sad however and the bags under them gave him the appearance of a man who hadn't slept in months, which, when thinking of her own nocturnal habits post war, may not have been such a stretch. Hermione was thrown from her inner dialogue as the carriage came to a halt. She quickly moved out of the doors and towards the castle, leaving Draco Malfoy and her questions about him behind.

Hermione made her way into the restructured castle. As she entered the grand foyer she noticed the wall, that had once held Umbridge's ridiculous ministry mandates, had undertaken a remodel. It was now covered in portraits, hundreds of which, showing the many lost wizards and witches of the most recent wizarding war. In the centre of the many portraits were the words ~

"Now They Sleep Together Side By Side And To Them We Have A Solemn Obligation."

Hermione took a step towards the portraits and felt her heart constrict at the many faces she recognized. Some looked down at her and waved, some gave her but a small sad smile. The portrait of Lupin, so closely placed next to his wife, caught her eye and her breath. Before she caught their attentions she turned away from the memorial wall and made her way into the great hall. The professors table sat in its usual place at the head of the hall facing four long, grand and food laden tables. Hermione noticed that while the students had taken their places at the separate house tables the banners raised above them was not of the individual houses but of the Hogwarts crest. She walked over to the Gryffindor table and took a seat, away from others and with her eyes downcast; avoiding the prying eyes and nosey whispers that were following her and quickly became lost in her memories.

 ** _SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSs_**

Draco watched Hermione move swiftly from the carriage, making her escape from him as quick as she possibly could. He stared after her retreating figure acknowledging the lump that had formed in his throat. How on earth could he have thought it would be a good idea to return to this place? Did he truly believe that he would be given a second chance? The Slytherin Prince, Dumbledore's Assassin, The Dark Lords Apprentice, Death Eater, he had been called them all and he was realizing very quickly that those labels, no matter how accurate, weren't going to disappear any time soon. Draco took a deep breath, ensuring that any hint of self doubt was wiped from his face and the emotionless indifference was regained. He stepped out of the carriage with the arrogant grace that was expected with the Malfoy name, at least the Malfoy name of the past.

"Malfoy's are inherently better then others Draco remember that. Always hold yourself with dignity and poise. We are a family of leaders. We don't require looking at the floor because there is no one to have been before us." The words of Draco's grandfather Abraxas echoed in his mind. He walked into the castle before his attention was caught by the portraits of the fallen. It did not go unnoticed by Draco that many of the portraits stopped to glare at him, or fix him with untrusting stares. He continued to walk past the watching portraits, barely allowing a pause in his step despite the uncomfortable lump that felt to grow within his chest. He stepped into the great hall, quickly taking a seat at the Slytherin table and ignoring all the students around him. Well almost all the students, as he sat down it did not escape his notice that a certain lioness had removed herself from the pride and was isolated at the end of the table, head down and seemingly distracted from the goings on around her.

 ** _SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSs_**

 _"I'm going to leave the two of you to talk alone for a minute." Harry said before backing from the room, leaving Hermione with an apologetic smile. Hermione stood in front of Ron, her arms folded across her chest feeling already defensive despite the lack of conversation. She noticed Ron was fidgeting, rubbing his hand through the back of his hair the way he was prone to do when he was nervous. He seemed to be looking anywhere but at her and she was finding his elusive behavior incredibly frustrating. Hermione took it upon herself to begin what she was sure would be an uncomfortable and fruitless discussion._

 _"Well?" She asked him. He looked up at her, his blue eyes already pleading forgiveness for a wrong she wasn't aware of. "Just tell me Ron."_

 _"I'mnotcomingwithyou." He rushed out the words, stringing them all together._

 _"English please Ron?" She asked, feeling her exasperation grow._

 _"I'm not… Well I got offered… I'm going to stay here and go to auror training with Harry. I'm not returning to Hogwarts… with you." He mumbled. Hermione felt the rage bubble. It was hard enough when she had first confronted both boys with the letter to hear that Harry had no intention of returning. The only reaction that surpassed her own disappointment was that of Ginny who through a fit when she discovered Harry would not be returning with them. Still she couldn't help but admit that she had been a little smug, after months of hearing Ginny's subtle remarks that she had caught herself the chosen one, the savior of the wizarding world, that she would be returning to Hogwarts without his fame and celebrity and Hermione would be with Ron. He had for the last few weeks agreed with her of how wonderful returning and enjoying a relaxing, drama free year would be. Now he has the gall to stand in front of her, spilling his confession all over the place after weeks of lies. Hermione was unable to hold back the anger that was boiling at the surface._

 _"Weeks." She said to him quietly. Dangerously quiet._

 _"Huh?" He asked her, one eyebrow raised and a look of confusion across his face. And with that single look of confusion crossing his face Hermione lost all self control._

 _"I said, Ronald," she began her voice still at a precariously hushed tone, "That it has been weeks. Weeks of you telling me you were excited, that you were looking forward to this year with me, weeks of lies!" Her voice raised on the last word._

 _"I know… I just…" He attempted to reason with her, only encouraging her fury._

 _"No, you have no idea Ron. None and you never have. You're selfish and spoilt and I am tired of it. I'm tired of letting it go every single time. You just don't care that you do it anymore because you just know I will give in. Well I'm done giving in and you will never change. You will always let me down. You will always put your own self centered needs ahead of everyone else. You will always be the one who…" She cut off knowing that once she said the words that were on the tip of her tongue things would never be the same. She watched the realization flash through his eyes and knew that it was too late, they were too far gone._

 _"Say it Mione." He spat at her. Ordinarily Hermione would stop herself, back track, apologize and avoid allowing this argument to progress but she could feel it inside her body, it was too late. So instead she let the words slip from her mouth._

 _"You will always be the one who left. You left and even though you came back, even though you tried to make it right, we both know it's always there. You will always be the boy who left." Upon finishing these words she felt as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, as though there was an instant relief. She could see the pain in Ron's eyes and while there was absolutely a part of her that was devastated that it had come to this she knew it needed to be said, and it was much better to be said now before they had gone any further._

 _"I knew there was always something." Ron muttered, his voice breaking with emotion. "Every time we were together, every time I held you, every kiss, I could feel it. It was like I was trying to push my way through a curtain but there was a solid door behind them. Why did you ever kiss me back then Mione? Why bother with it all if you felt this way." He asked, his voice laced with pain. Hermione couldn't help the sarcastic chuckle from escaping her throat and before she gave the words a second thought she allowed them to escape her mouth._

 _"C'mon Ron, you know I always did what I was expected. Perfect bookworm Hermione always following what the paper says. You and I, we were the perfect cliché, what everyone expected to happen. And you know I hate to fail." She watched her words register within Ron and watched as the hurt and anger flashed through his eyes._

 _"So that's that then?" He spat at her. "That can't be it Hermione. Just stop, stay with us, come to the ministry and even if you're not an Auror you can be with me and Harry and we will work it all out. C'mon Hermione." She was shocked at how quickly he had moved from ager to pleading with her and she was also surprised at how little she cared for his pleas._

 _"You're not listening to me Ron. I don't want to keep following a path I don't want because that is what other people are expecting of me. I need to do what is right for me. Everyone expects me to follow you and Harry, for the Golden Trio to remain glued to each others side, but I don't want that. I don't want a ministry job that I just take to be close to you and Harry. I want the time and space to discover who I am outside of my history, outside of our trio and outside of you. So I am going back to Hogwarts." She said, feeling more of the weight that had been resting on top of her shoulders lift she turned and made her way to the fire place. She turned back to the man who used to be her best friend and added. "Ron, don't contact me ok. I will contact you when I am ready but I really need this space." She stepped into the fire and as she grabbed a fist full of floo powder she heard his voice, full of emotion._

 _"Mione, please."_

 _"I'm sorry Ron." She said as the green flames roared to life around her. "I'm giving up on you."_

 ** _SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSs_**

 **Hey Guys,**

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I had a review that suggested I place the flash backs in Italics so I have done that in the hopes it makes more sense. This is a bit of a filler chapter and I am hoping the next chapter is more substantial in moving the story forward, I just needed to get this out of the way. Please Please Please review, it encourages me to write more =)**

 **Thanks, D xxx**


	3. I Am Feeling So Small

**Chapter Three: I Am… Feeling So Small.**

Hermione was brought out of her memories by the arrival of the new first years, filing into the great hall with wide eyes and opened mouths. Was it really only eight short years ago she had stood in their very place, the excitement and desire running through her veins quicker than any drug? She remembered her innocent optimism that Hogwarts was to be the place to change her life and form her into an incredible woman. That is not to say that the great castle hadn't shaped her life in major ways, but more a reflection on how the transformation from excited muggle born into seasoned witch had not been performed in any manner that she would deem optimistic. But that is the way of danger and injustice and war, it tends to beat the optimism right out of you. Hermione watched but didn't really see the fresh Gryffindor students take their seats at the table, she ate but never tasted the glorious food that appeared on her plate and she heard but didn't really listen when McGonagall stood in front of the congregation and gave her beginning of year headmistress address. It was by pure chance that she was still seated when all the other students had begun to make their way out of the hall and towards their respective house dormitories. She finally looked around her, aware that she was sharing the hall with seven other former classmates and that McGonagall was making her way toward the small group.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen," the headmistress greeted them, "I am pleased to see that you accepted our offer to complete your studies with us this year. Now I am sure that you are all curious as to the arrangements that will be made to accommodate you for the duration of the schools period, and I plan to have a more thorough discussion with you all in the morning in what would be a first period class to ensure you are all prepared to undertake your studies. Tonight however I would like to quickly talk about your new sleeping arrangements. I'm sure it comes to no surprise that you will not be returning to your previous house dormitories. Due to the small number of you the other professors and I deemed it appropriate to create a new inclusive dorm for the group of you to share together. You will each have an individual room to yourself to sleep and study as well as a common room and two bathrooms, one for girls and one for boys. I'm sure you will find this appropriate for your needs."

"Professor," come the deep voice of Neville Longbottom from Hermione's left hand side. She noticed the commanding way in which he spoke, no longer the timid and scared boy, afraid to make more then a squeak, that he had been eight years ago. "Forgive me if I sound rude but why?"

"Well Mr. Longbottom the professors and I discussed this and believed it suitable for two reasons. Firstly logistically since there is so few of you returning we would have been creating an extra dormitory in the house domains to house in the most case only two students. While that kind of magical expansion may seem simple enough it would be in reality quite the opposite. It seemed more prudent to convert a section of the castle that has remained unused for some time into this dwelling area. We also intend to keep the quarters after the finish of this school year as guest quarters." A couple of the students nodded at McGonagall's explanation. "The second reason, Mr. Longbottom, actually came about in the interest of your privacy. It is no secret that we have younger students who were involved in the wizarding war, however considering the very prominent role a select few of you played in that battle,- " Hermione could feel her cheeks heating and determinedly set her eyes on the floor refusing to make eye contact with her professor and acknowledge that these new living quarters had much to do with her new found celebrity, "- we believed it would be best to separate you from the other students to allow you peace from what I'm sure would be constant questioning and allow the younger students the opportunity of focusing on their studies without being distracted by the presence of war hero's and heroines. So if you will follow me I shall show you to your new dwellings." Hermione followed along behind the rest of her classmates, keeping her eyes on her shoes. She had the vague sense that she was being watched, but reasoned that in this castle the walls truly did have eyes.

 **SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSs**

There was however a pair of steely grey eyes focused very prominently on her, a pair of eyes that had found their way to her being all evening. Draco stared at her as she walked behind their classmates, her head focused on the ground in front of her. He was curious how the little lioness had seemingly lost her roar. She hadn't spoken to a single soul, he excluded, since they had been back inside the school walls. He was surprised that she had sat alone during dinner, avoiding even Longbottom and apparently lost within her own thoughts. Something had definitely shook up Gryffindor's princess and Draco could not help but want to know why.

He continued to follow McGonagall with the rest of his new classmates and could feel the anxiety building up inside of him, seemingly forming a ball of pressure behind his eyes. He was completely aware of how poignant this year was about to be for him. It wasn't lost on Draco that of all the Slytherin students to have returned this year he was the least expected and certainly the least welcome. He knew that he would be spending much of his time outside of classes inside the private domain of his bedroom, avoiding the pointed whispers and accusatory glares he was sure to receive. He had no blame to those classmates that he was to be sharing the space with for having a less then warm reaction to sharing with him, after the recent events he was just lucky to be out of Azkaban, but his court proven innocence had done nothing to alleviate the guilty verdict that had been handed down through public opinion. Draco was so caught up in these thoughts that he almost ran straight into the brown curls of Hermione Granger who had stopped in front of him. He halted just short of connecting against her for the second time that evening but he was not far enough away to avoid smelling the subtle perfume he believed was coming from her hair, a delicate whiff of musk and apple. Draco shook his head, trying to rid himself of the smell and the thoughts, before following his class members in through the opened portrait hole.

They had stepped into a large room; the floors were a dark black carpet throughout. In the centre of the room was a lounge setting in white plush leather, the kind of soft leather that felt as though it morphed to fit around you. In the centre on these lounges was a long dark wooden table. All of these furnishings were strategically placed in front of a roaring fire, the hearth a dark black marble that contrasted beautifully against the white wooden paneling's around the walls. A portrait of the four founders of Hogwarts sat above the fire place but Draco noticed that each of them was preoccupied with their own activity. Inside this room also sat a long wooden bench in the same dark wood as the smaller table near the lounges. Draco assumed this would be a place for them to study together and immediately came to the conclusion that this bench would not be a place for him to take a seat. To the right side of this table was a set of stairs leading downwards and to the left was a set leading up. McGonagall pointed to each set and explained,

"The stairs to the right hand side, leading down, will take you to your individual rooms while the set leading up to the left will take you to your bathrooms. I am confident you will find these quarters sufficient." She said while some students agreed with a simple "Yes" or nods of their head Draco noticed that Hermione again made no response.

"Excellent," continued their headmistress, "Well I shall see you young wizards and witches in the first class period at the 5th corridor classroom on the 4th floor. Goodnight." And with that McGonagall turned on her heel and left the eight eighth years get situated. Most of the students turned to each other, discussing the room, the supplement year and how their lives had fared since the end of the war. Draco however was quick to turn towards the right hand stairs and make his way down; relieved to have avoided the unwelcome reception he was bound to receive soon. At the bottom of the staircase he was met with a long corridor, the same dark carpet and white floors as the common room above still in place, with four dark wood doors on either side. Draco had just stopped on the last stair and was taking in the new setting when he noticed brown curls disappear behind a closing door at the end of the corridor. He made his way to the same end and chose the door directly across from the one he had just witness closing. He wasn't sure why, since he could only assume that she hated him more so then anyone else in their class, but he felt like he had to be near her. As he entered this new room he watched it immediately morph from having the same black and white furnishings and fixtures as the room above into a more personal color scheme. While the four poster bed in the centre of the room and its two bedside tables, as well as the writing desk against one wall remained the same dark wood as before the dressings and wall paneling had altered to a deep green and silver pallet. The sheets were now a light material, almost a silk, but without any kind of gloss texture. The hangings around the four poster bed were of a sheer green material. Draco stepped over to the writing desk against the wall and noticed the photo of his mother had appeared next to the stack of parchments and quills and text books that had aligned themselves neatly and in the order that Draco preferred. Draco slipped off his shoes and socks, took off his robes and sent them to hang in the closet with a wave of his wand, and stripped down into a pair of black sleeping pants. For as long as he could remember Draco was unable to sleep in heavy pajamas preferring to opt for a light set of pants and forgoing a shirt altogether. He made his way onto the comfortable bed, lying back and staring at the top above him, Draco made himself comfortable for yet another night of no sleep and torturous memories.

 **SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSs**

The wind blew gently against Hermione's face as she stared out over the castle grounds from the astronomy tower. She appreciated the calm, quiet that she was able to meet with in this place of the castle. Despite not being able to sleep Hermione decided it was much calmer to be alone with her thoughts with only the noise of the wind to keep her company then the strange loudness that became the castle when all had gone to rest. She was thinking about the significance this place held in her life, the knowledge that though she wasn't in the very moment that Dumbledore's death had transpired the event had certainly changed her destiny. This very room was the place that started the war, at least for Hermione, because for her the moment they lost Dumbledore was when the fight really began. Sure they had tastes of battle within the ministry and throughout the many dramatic twists and turns had taken place in their previous school years but that night, losing Dumbledore, was the turning point where Hermione remembered first being afraid of what they were about to face. Lost in her questioning of how a place or an event that you were not even present in could so strongly shape your life she almost missed the sound of approaching footsteps. It wasn't until the last footstep hit the top of the tower that she was thrown from her mind, turning quickly she withdrew her wand and pointed it at the intruder. Before she could release the spell that sat on the tip of her tongue however her wand was thrown from her hands and she came face to face with him.

"Malfoy!" She growled "What are you doing up here? And why did you disarm me?"

"I came up for some air, I didn't think it would be occupied at 3am Granger, and I disarmed you to stop you from disarming me, quite literally, you looked like you were about to sectumsempera it right off the socket. Here." He said, handing it back to her.

"Well you snuck up on me what did you expect?" She asked snatching the item from his grasp.

"I wasn't expecting to come across anyone. Sorry. I'll leave you to it." He began to turn away to head back down the stairs when he heard her ask.

"Why here?" He turned back around, facing the back of her head.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Why here Malfoy? Of all places to 'get some air' why here?" She asked turning back to look at him.

"I don't know," He replied attempting to keep his usual unattached tone. "Why are you up here?"

"I asked first." She countered.

"Well that's mature." He bit. "I don't know. I was lying in my bed and I was wondering if I will ever find a place here, or in the whole wizarding world. I was told from a very young age that I was better then a lot of people Granger, it was my birth right to have any and all opportunities because I was a Malfoy. When I was younger the name held a lot more respect and grandeur then what it is afforded now. So I guess I was questioning how I got to a place where I was a nobody and I was wanted no where. This seemed like the place where it all went wrong. This is where I sealed my fate. I thought maybe since this is where it all went wrong that perhaps it could be the place where I could figure out a way to make it right." He said, finishing with a sad sigh. He looked up at Hermione and could see the confliction in her eyes. He knew that she was an inherently good person, a true Gryffindor, something that was foreign to him of course but he could see she wanted to ease his mind. He could also see the other side of her questioning whether what he said was true and if by chance it was why would he tell her? Draco Malfoy, death eater, was not one to open up to anyone so why on earth would he choose her. He knew in that moment that it would be like this for all his life, people questioning his every move and motive. If only they could see inside his head but if there was one thing Draco was very good at it was placing walls up and avoiding allowing anyone to see his true feelings. He wasn't even sure why he had told her that. Perhaps he was more tired then he even realized. Before the silence could get more awkward or she had a chance to ask him more about his insomnia inducing habits he returned the question.

"So Granger, your turn." He watches as she raises her eyebrows and can see the thought in her answer before she delivers it.

"I was trying to understand how the place of your actions held so much significance in my life." She said simply and he could see from her eyes it was the truth. If there was one thing Draco had learnt from the Dark lord it was how to read another person.

"I'm sure it feels for you-" he began but he was cut off quickly by her angry words.

"Don't presume to know how any thing feels for me Malfoy. You have no idea and I can't imagine anyone ever will since I'm not even sure. I feel broken, and battered and bruised. I feel like love is a lie and laughter is a lie and life in general is a lie. I feel like it was all worth too much and then worth nothing at all. I feel like… I feel like I feel all too much and trying to explain that to someone who feels nothing at all is fruitless." She said before turning back to face the wind, her hands holding the rails in front of her for support. She assumed that Draco would just walk away, go back to his dorm and back to feeling superior above her dirty blood. She didn't feel him come beside her, his hand so close to her own on the railing. And then she heard it, his voice, barely above a whisper.

"I am … feeling so small."

 **SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSs**

 **Hey Everyone, I hope you enjoy this update. Please please please review. I am writing this story off the cuff as I go so I am open to any ideas and suggestions and reviews definitely encourage me to keep writing so please give your feedback.**

 **D xxx**


	4. It Was Over My Head

p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal"strongHey Guys, /strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal"strongI am really sorry it has taken this long for me to post a chapter update. I had been very busy with my Uni work and I was quite eager to write during my break however, early in the break I received a review and I will be honest with you it shook me up. This review was posted on a different fiction I had written for a different fandom. The review I received was from a guest reviewer who did not share in my opinion on a certain relationship. Their issue was entirely content based. Now please do not get me wrong, I know that not everyone shares the same 'ships' and that is fine. I am also open to any and all constructive criticisms to my writing where language and grammar is concerned. I will admit I write and read for content and I am in the poor habit of overlooking poor grammar. I would like to apologize to anyone who is bothered by this, please know it is not intentional, I do take into consideration feedback on this front and please try to excuse any mistakes. Old habits die hard so they say, I am trying. I also do not have a beta writer, so I can often miss my own mistakes, again I apologize. /strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal"strongHowever this review I received, as I mentioned, was entirely based on the person disagreeing on the content. While that is fine, we can't all have the same tastes and opinions, the review that was left to me was vicious and personally attacked me. I was called a f***ing B***h several times in this review. I will admit now that while reading it I became very upset. I could not understand someone who does not know me needing to be so cruel towards me. I love reading fan fiction and I very much enjoy writing it, I find it a wonderful creative outlet. I do not claim to be a wonderful, perfect writer, not in the slightest. However, I a not cruel, I do not generally leave feedback, especially not in a negative way. I will overlook minor errors if the content interests me because I believe that if the writer is invested in their content it shines through. Basically such a personally negative review left me very shaken and feeling extremely overwhelmed and under confident. However, I have received so many lovely reviews that are so encouraging and I think I owe it to those of you who do enjoy my less than perfect stories, and to myself to keep going. /strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal"strongThat said, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I wanted to show the characters feelings of isolation, as that will be a major piece in drawing them together. As always please leave reviews, good or bad (just not nasty please). /strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal"strongLots of love to you all, /strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal"strongD xxx /strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"strongspan style="text-decoration: underline;"span style="font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 150%;"Chapter Four: It Was Over My Head. /span/span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"It was as though the wind had stopped for a moment, the leaves on the trees stopped still and all sounds of the night were silent. All that existed in that moment was the words that had escaped his mouth./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""I am … feeling so small."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"Hermione felt as though the wind had been taken from within her. It was unimaginable to her that the first person to seemingly have any honest feelings since the war ended was Draco Malfoy. When the dust surrounding the battle of Hogwarts had settled, Hermione, despite being placed on a celebrity pedestal, had an unwavering sense of being small and insignificant. Ron certainly did not share these feelings. He enjoyed the celebrity that the war had brought him, finally a chance to step out into the light and stop being just one of the Weasley many, the last of the Weasley many really. She felt as though the war had validated him and it was clear he didn't share Hermione's feelings. Harry, though not caught up in the fame and glory, seemed at peace. It was as though, after the battle, he was able to relax. But for Hermione the war had robbed her of her childhood, her family and left her with an unshakable sense of insignificance. She was shunned in her muggle childhood for being odd and when she reached Hogwarts she was belittled and underestimated for her muggle birth. For Hermione the end of the war left her with little understanding of where she fit./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""I … I am familiar with that feeling." She said, speaking out to the wind but knowing he was listening. "I am surprised that you are." She felt him move forward, mimicking her own position leaning on the railing. He was so close she could smell him, a rich and warm indescribable scent that was so far from what she would have ever imagined. They stood together in silence, watching the wind whip the leaves around the tops of the forbidden forest. After some time, Malfoy's deep baritone broke through the winds song, breaching the comfortable silence./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""I am surprised that the Golden girl of the current wizarding world feels small." Hermione kept her face forward, forcing herself not to look up at him. She took a deep breath./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""I have spent every day since the war ended surrounded by people. I have been praised and rewarded and quite frankly worshipped. And every single minute, every second, I feel alone. I came to Hogwarts and I thought, finally, I wouldn't be so different and then…"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""Then you came to Hogwarts and I spent six years making a point of how you were different." Malfoy sniffed quickly after making the statement, a small show of emotion that swiftly hit Hermione in the chest./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""You sound almost remorseful Malfoy. If it's any consolation it was really only five years. Sixth year you seemed a little distracted from being a wizarding racist." She knew it was unkind but she wasn't prepared to completely let her guard down with him./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""It's really not any consolation, no." The silence resumed between them, but this time there was an awkwardness to it, as though there was something hanging in the air that neither one knew how to grab. "Look, Granger, I … I am so…"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""Don't Malfoy. Honestly at this point I don't know if I would believe it and on the scale of all the things that I would like an explanation or apology for, your childish behaviour is low on the list." She watched him from the corner of her eye as he nodded slowly, then as he dropped his face in his hands and his shoulders began to shake. She realized he was crying what she wasn't sure of was how she should react./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""Malfoy?" She gently prodded. She heard him sniff and watched him wipe his eyes./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""I'm sorry Granger. I know you said you don't need my apologies, but I need to give them to you. Please?" Finally Hermione looked up at him, finding herself looking into his steel grey eyes. She could see the pain in them, the need and a sort of hopelessness. Gone was the air of arrogance that had once run straight to the core of this young man. In that moment Hermione Granger could see that Draco Malfoy was broken./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""Consider your apologies accepted Malfoy." She lifted her hand, as though she was going to pat him on the back, an act of comfort that, while coming naturally to her, was entirely foreign given who would be on the receiving end. She allowed the hand to drop by her side lamely. "It's late. I should be getting to bed." She began walking towards the door, turning back one last time. Malfoy had not moved he stood still, leaning against the towers rails, his head still in his hands. "Goodnight Malfoy." Hermione whispered into the winds. Malfoy waited until he could no longer hear her footsteps retreating down the astronomy tower stairs before he released his own whisper into the wind./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""Goodnight Hermione."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 150%;" align="center"strongspan style="text-decoration: underline;"span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 150%;"SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSs/span/span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 150%;" align="center"strongspan style="text-decoration: underline;"span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="text-decoration: none;" /span/span/span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"Hermione felt the night morph into the morning from the confines of her four poster bed. She got up and quietly dressed for the day, catching a glance of herself in the mirror as she walked towards the door. She was aware of the dark circles that had developed underneath her eyes, she could have ordered a serum from Diagon Alley to get rid of them but frankly she couldn't bring herself to care enough. She quietly left her room and made her way down to the great hall for breakfast./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"She sat quietly, keeping her head down and avoiding eye contact with anyone. She was aware of Neville and Ginny, huddled together, she could feel them looking at her every so often and was not naïve enough to believe she wasn't their main topic of gossip this morning. She was about to leave the hall and move to her first class, purely to enjoy some peace when she heard the flutter of wings above her and a letter was dumped in front of her, landing on top of the toast slice she had placed on her plate, purely for show. She glanced up and caught a flash of white wing as the owls left the hall. When Harry had proudly produced his new owl to Hermione, Ron and Ginny a few months previously Hermione had found she was incapable of producing the same level of enthusiasm as her friends./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"em"Oh Harry, she is beautiful." Ginny had gushed, petting the owls head lightly. /em/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"em"It's a nice way to remember Hedwig, Mate." Ron had agreed. Hermione however muttered a quiet congratulations, before excusing herself. /em/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;" It just seemed odd, even still. Hedwig had been a loyal companion to Harry for six years, to find a replacement that looked her mirror image seemed a little morbid in Hermione's opinion. It reminded her of the way muggle parents would sneak new goldfish into their children's rooms of a night while they slept, after the original had died. Like so many things after the war, designed to move forward and past the atrocities, Hermione was only reminded of all that had changed and all that had been lost to them. Remembering the letter, Hermione picked it up, tore open the seal to read its contents./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 150%;" align="center"emHermione, /em/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 150%;" align="center"emHow was the trip to school? How does it look since the reconstruction? Have many of the others from our year returned? /em/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 150%;" align="center"emAll is well here. Auror training is challenging but I am really enjoying it. Ron is doing well, I'm sure he would love to hear from you. /em/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 150%;" align="center"emI miss you Hermione, I hope you are doing well./em/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 150%;" align="center"emHarry. /em/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"Hermione read Harry's note through twice, feeling as though she had lost equilibrium. She felt very tempted to ball the note up in her fist, throw it into the air and hex the offending words to combust mid air. However, she was aware of Ginny and Neville casting now curious glances in her direction and felt that such an open display of her temper may cause the pair to watch her with more intent, or worse actually try talking to her. She folded the letter and tucked it into her book bag before slipping from her seat and quietly leaving the great hall, refusing her old friends the satisfaction of looking back in their direction. Her pace quickened as she left the hall as her anger began to run wildly through her body. How could Harry send her a letter that was so blasé? Was he using such a nonchalant tone to attempt to sooth things over or was he truly that dim? She had a sneaking suspicion his motivation came from the earlier suggestion. Still, bringing up Ron like that, as though nothing was different. Well, if she really thought about it, any of it, the trip, the school, their peers, it was all so dismissive of what they had all been through. And there it was, the thing Hermione was so tired of yet continued to pander to, every body's need to move on and forget what had happened, to act as though all was normal. Everyone else was able to but Hermione could not. She didn't want to act as though their lives were a fairytale, where once the villain had been defeated they lived happily ever after. Good had not simply conquered bad, with no losses to account for. There was no handsome prince –/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"All of a sudden Hermione felt herself falling backwards off balance, when a pair of hands reached out and pulled her back to stand upright. After a moment of dizzying unbalance she looked up into the face that accompanied the hands to have caught her./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""Christ Granger, even when you've not got your nose in your book you're not exactly attentive to your destination are you?" Malfoy asked her. She listened intently for the arrogant drawl that she had become so accustomed to over the years but she couldn't find it. If anything he sounded slightly amused. She shook her head slightly./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""I'm sorry. I was distracted. Thank you for stopping me from making a right fool of myself Malfoy." She explained./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""No harm done, and besides, if you had fallen I am sure any witness would have just assumed I had pushed you in a second rate attack." He said it with a chuckle, but she noticed that the joke didn't seem to register in his eyes. She returned his attempt at humor with her own half hearted chuckle./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""Well, thank you anyway." She looked up at him, both of them seemingly suspended in a moment of awkwardness that neither knew what to do. Should they acknowledge their conversation last night, Malfoy's late night confession? Hermione decided against it, quickly darting around Malfoy's still form. "Bye", she muttered as she passed him./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"Draco stood still for a second, acknowledging the lingering scent that she had left behind as she passed him before continuing to the great hall. As he came to the large double door way he looked inside at the bustling students, animatedly discussing their coming classes. He glanced over at the Slytherin table, which while being full of new and old students, seemed dauntingly empty to Draco. Feeling that creeping darkness of loneliness take hold of him, he turned on his heel away from the hall, deciding that he may not have been so hungry after all./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 150%;" align="center"strongspan style="text-decoration: underline;"span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 150%;"SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSs/span/span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"Draco stood, hands against the railing, looking out into the darkness again. Tonight the wind was more subdued, quiet and peaceful, unlike his mind. He had climbed to the astronomy tower again when sleep had failed to woo him. He was ignoring the slight part of him that was disappointed at the absence of a particular brunette when he had stepped out in to the chilled night air. Some small part of him felt lighter after his midnight confessional but there was still so much of him that felt as though he was constricted from the inside out. So much of his childhood, when he replayed it in his mind, seemed to be no more than a lie. His sense of self worth, that had once been so undoubtedly high, was now diminished to nothing. His mother, a woman whose crimes came down to no more than a life of learned obligation, was now a prisoner in her own house. Their home had been turned over to the Ministry; much of their wealth was gone. Everything Draco had been raised to believe in, everything that made the Malfoy name so worthy had been lost to him, and if Draco was absolutely honest with himself, he knew that none of it was ever truly real or deserving. His father, a man that Draco had admired and respected in his youth, was now a shadow of who he once was./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""How did it come to this?" Draco spoke out loud, asking the cloudless dark sky to answer the questions he knew they could not, "How did I get here?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""You know, talking to yourself is the very first sign of madness?" Draco jumped at the small voice that spoke from behind him in the darkness. He turned quickly to be faced with the dark, unruly, brunette curls he had been hoping to see earlier./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""Out again after curfew Granger?" He asked attempting to cover the fright she had just given him. She merely nodded at his curiosity, declining the opportunity for a detailed explanation on her current insomniac status. She walked forward to stand beside him against the railing. "So what's the second sign of madness then Granger?" He asked./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""Arguing with yourself." She stated plainly./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""Well I am two for two so far, this isn't looking good. What is sign three?" He asked, raising an eyebrow./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""Oh yes, the final sign," she replied, "That would be losing the argument." At Malfoy's groan she chuckled, "Take comfort in the fact that you are not the only crazy one here."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""Malfoy's are not crazy, Granger." His voice full of indignation, "The madness gene just does not run through our blood." He said, placing his nose in the air./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""You seem to be forgetting, Malfoy, that you share genetics with the Black's" She watched as he dropped his nose and looked entirely concerned, she could not help but laugh at him and was surprised when his own chuckle joined her. When their laughter had subsided and the quiet had returned between them he turned, his back resting against the railing, and he looked at her. It was no secret that she had aged well, even amongst the Slytherin boys it was talked about. But he was able to really look at her, her skin was a flawless ivory, a smattering of light freckles adorned the bridge of her nose. Her lips were full and defined. Her eyes, dark and deep, were framed by long and thick lashes. Her hair was piled on top of her head, a bun so large and untidy it was slightly offensive. Despite their history and his knowing that she would never think of him in any way that could be mistaken for kindness, he could not deny that she was beautiful./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""You know," he said, breaking his silent appreciation for her, "it's a little frightening when the Black's may actually be the more sane side of my gene pool." Hermione couldn't stop the chuckle from escaping her lips./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""You're right that is frightening. Though I wouldn't be too sure about that, sure I have never met your grandfather, or any paternal family member outside of your father, but I'm not sure any one could rival Bellatrix." She said it in attempt at casual sarcasm but they both felt the shift between them./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""Yes well Bellatrix was … well …" He tried to find the appropriate words./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""Batshit crazy?" Hermione offered. Malfoy looked at her, mouth gaping./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""Not that you're wrong Granger," he said "but I don't think I have ever heard you swear before" he said, his surprise evident./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""You don't know me very well Malfoy, I can have quite the foul mouth, I was friends with Harry and Ron for a long time remember."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""Well that does make sense, my mother always used to say that swearing was to show ones lack of intelligence, which certainly sounds like Weasley." Draco said. He waited for Hermione to rush to the ginger's defense but she didn't. Instead she looked up at him, her face a mask of seriousness before she repeated the question that he himself had asked the night sky./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""How did we get here Malfoy?" she asked. He thought about what she was asking, how broad the question was, how much it encompassed. He was aware however of where it began, at least where it had begun for him and that was the only answer he could give her. He looked down at her, before replying, his voice so quiet it was almost a whisper, filled with sorrow and remorse./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;""It was over my head."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 150%;" align="center"strongspan style="text-decoration: underline;"span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 150%;"SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSs/span/span/strong/p 


End file.
